My Plain Grandma passed away unexpectedly five years ago tomorrow. I spoke at her service and this is what I said. I’m sharing it because I want it out there how amazing she was, how she loved with every fiber of her being, how funny she was. I want everyone to experience a tiny bit of the wonderful Grandma I had. I was lucky and I know it.
Grandma when she was younger
A little history on her name. We had a Great Grandma and a Grandma Margaret, but our other grandma was so special and wonderful, that all she needed was to be called plain grandma…and it stuck and she became Plain Grandma. When I had the girls, she became Great Grandma and my mom became Plain Grandma. That ended with her, but it started with my Plain Grandma.
12/3/04
Saturday, I took a nap and was using one of the quilts my Grandma made for me to keep warm. As I was lying there, thinking of all the memories I have of my Grandma, I realized most of them were of her keeping me warm, one way or another.
Both my Grandma and Grandpa have always been a warm, comforting place for my sister and me to go, in their home and their hearts. She has given so much love to so many people; in the amazing things she made us, the talks she gave us, all the times she was there for us, taking care of us, was all showing us how much she loved us.
These are the things that remind me of my Grandma:
- The smell of Dove soap [that’s why I use it!]
- DELUXE Kraft Macaroni & Cheese [we only got it at her house
when we were kids]
- Egads! [Her favorite swear word]
- Her squeak when you tugged her ear when she was lauging
- Sewing patterns [We owe half our childhood wardrobe to her]
- Life cereal
- Pictures where everyone’s head got cut off!
- Ground beef tacos [of course, with lettuce and tomatoes
chopped up]
- The comics section of the newspaper used for wrapping paper
[because it was the only section in color!]
- Her singing a lullaby to
Michelle and I were little. I loved the
sound of her voice. It was one only she sang, and I sang it to my girls.
I remember my Grandma always being there for me. Even though my Grandma is now in Heaven, her quilts are like her hugs, and I will always be warmed by them. I know she’s with her Mom and Heidi, taking walks.
The best way we can honor her is to remember all the love she gave us and celebrate her life. She wouldn’t want us to grieve the loss of her, because she will always be with us in our hearts.
…………………………………………………
Twelve days later, my Mom joined her in heaven. I feel them both with me at times and we’ve had some very interesting experiences that I know are them. Every day I think of them and miss them terribly. But I can hear Granny saying, “Don’t worry, be happy” as she often did.
I love you Granny and I miss you more than you’ll ever know.
Glee is by far one of the best shows on TV in a very, very long time. I ♥ it for many reasons, the least of them being it’s not afraid to be different.
♥ mash-up songs
♥ 70s & 80s songs revisited and most of the time, the cover is never sung the way you’d think to sing it…originals!
♥ Jane Lynch rocks!!!! She is bad, but not unlovable. She was probably just the kid everyone picked on at recess and it’s payback time.
♥ Kids aren’t perfect – one is pregnant (and her BF isn’t the babydaddy…gasp!)
♥ Even though I’m not a big watching-people-dance person, they put on some fantastic dances. I’m hooked!
♥ Smartass humor rules
So even though they’re considered outcasts in the show, they rule and I love them!
I GOT THE JOB! woohoo! I start on November 30th – exactly 11 months from when I got laid off. Talk about long & winding roads…I am much more humble, stronger and live a simpler life than I did 11 months ago. I am damn happy though!
Mom’s birthday was November 17th…I’ve pretty much said everything before. I will add, however, that we have a birthday dinner in her honor. It’s nothing formal, it’s much more about being together for a good reason. This year we had it at Michelle’s and it was delish, nice and fun.
So on FB, about mid-November, I saw a friend post an idea: post something you’re thankful for each day until Thanksgiving. So I have, and I have to say, I was surprised at how it caught on so quickly. I’m glad and it’s fun and heartwarming to see who has posted what they’re thankful for…things big and small (because it’s the small things that also add so much to our lives).
Move it, move it, move it…we are moving! I found a house (well, Shelby did) that gives us more room, a big yard (Chance will be so happy) and only costs about half of what I’m paying now. No way I could turn that down; it’s farther from work (work! heehee), but worth it and not far enough to be a big deal. Moving in through December and hope to be completely out no later than about Jan. 5th or so….yay!
All done; more postings later. Am thinking of a cooking blog or web site; probably blog, it’s faster, but web site can have pictures easier…ponder, ponder…..
So I had an interview today and I did great; next round is tomorrow. I had confidence in knowing I can do the job well, but I also had so much love and well wishes from my friends (and family, but hey, they’re kind of obligated, right?) that it gave me a big boost of warm, mushy goodness. ;o)
I’ve posted before about the bond my high school friends and I share – it’s more evident than ever in what I’m seeing. When someone needs something, it’s not just one person who helps, it’s many. We haven’t all kept in touch regularly, but we’ve rediscovered each other through Facebook and the reunion…and it’s real.
One of my friends, who I haven’t seen or talked to since high school, sent me a gift certificate for a massage a few months ago – she didn’t expect anything in return, she just wanted me to have an hour of relaxation. I promised her I’d pay it forward and I will. I’ve been the one giving before, and it’s wonderful to be able to give someone a small slice of happiness in their life. Friends do that.
I know I could ask at least 10 of my friends (whether school friends, work friends or just friends) for help and they’d happily give it to me or help me find a way to get me the help.
I am blessed and hope that I can be as much of a friend to them as they are to me. You all rock, smooches to each of you!!
My high schoool 25th reunion was last weekend. We came from such a small school (typical graduating class hovered around 100….yes, 100) that we ended up opening it up to all classes. I am so glad we did that! I met so many people that I hadn’t really known in high school and had such a great time with. Although I really wasn’t in any of the “cliques” in school and had friends from many different cliques, I really wasn’t into high school either. I hung around older kids and people out of high school already, so although I knew and were friends with people, my core group of friends was always older than me.
In school, kids are so concerned with other people’s opinions and think that whatever label they have in high school, it will stick with them through life. We know it doesn’t, but at the time, it feels like it will. I went to my 10 year and 20 year reunions (for not being into high school, I certainly make sure I’m at the reunions, huh?) and this one was the best, by far. We all just had fun and weren’t concerned with who is where or how much money anyone is making or what car they’re driving…we just enjoyed each others company.
I think one of the big takeaways I got was that, at the end of the day, we all live our lives with our families and for one weekend every few years, we can remember the simpler times when we were kids. I don’t want to be in high school again, but just remember the fun we had while we were there. As much as I disliked the small town we lived in, looking back, we were lucky in the respect that we all have a bond that you don’t get in bigger schools. So we’re moving up the reunions to every 2 or 3 years; that way, we can enjoy the company of the friends once again. I think it will keep us young at heart more than most things.
There is something to be said about experiencing a band or singer live. It’s almost never what you expect…hopefully it’s better than you expected and confirms why you like the band or singer in the first place.
I love going to concerts and look forward to the day I can go to one again (getting a job being the first criteria to allow me to do so). My friend just saw Bryan Adams and said seeing him live made her really appreciate him as a musician. He opened for Journey in 1982 (I think that’s the correct year). That was my first concert as a teenager and my first one without parents & just my friend, Cheryl. We were at The Forum in L.A., two rows from the very tippy-top (I think we had oxygen masks on, it was so high up) but we loved it!!
When I was a kid, I saw KISS at Magic Mountain and War at a street fair in downtown L.A. I remember the excitement, the thumping of the music that I felt reverberate in my chest. I was lucky enough to take my girls to many concerts at many venues and show them the same experience…it opened them to new music beyond the bubblegum pop most kids listened to at their age. They listen a range of music and are open to it, which I hope is a reflection of that upbringing.
When the girls were younger, we had “themes” for the concerts of what we’d wear or do for it. They loved it and it became part of the excitement for them.
In no particular order, these are some of the most memorable concerts with my girls:
- Green Day – they dyed their hair green
- Offspring – feather boas & tank tops
- Save Ferris – Halloween show with costumes!
- Dashboard Confessional – VIP at House of Blues L.A., they got to meet the band & go in the dressing room
- Weenie Roast – they had to wait til they were 16 to go, but it is always a blast! An all-day affair that is great for people watching.
- U2 & No Doubt – Luxury Suite at Staples…just a great show, period.
- No Doubt, Garbage & Distillers – Long Beach arena…need we say more? Girl power!!!!
I save all my ticket stubs and have them in a shadow box. I think the oldest one I have is from 1996, Bob Seger…at the Forum. He rocked it!
I’ve said here before, that music is a huge part of my life and is a great accompaniment to the memories of my life.
As soon as things are better, one of the first things I’m doing to treat myself is get a great seat at a great concert! Celebrate…and rock on!
Today was a momentous day in our younger daughter’s life — she got her first car. It’s nice; a Jetta and in pretty great condition, good paint (dark gray), inside is good, etc. etc.
While her dad was looking it over and ultimately buying it, I had a flashback to my first car and how wildly different my experience is from hers (as well as our older daughter’s; she got my Civic for her first car.) My first car was a 1971 (oxidized) lime green Roadrunner with a big engine that rumbled. I had asked for a bug, the older the better. Red, please.
My father bought it for me, parked it around the corner and made a big production out of driving it up to me. I remember my mom with her arm around me as he was at the corner to get it, and she said, “Lisa, you need to remember to just smile.”
Panicked, I shot her a look, “What do you mean, just smile?”
She gripped my shoulder a little tighter as we heard some loud-ass car rumbling down the street…wait a minute….no way…I looked at her, horrified; as usual, it all showed on my face. A poker face I do not have. “Oh my God, what did he buy? I just want a friggin’ Bug, Mom!”
At that moment, the Lime Green Monster (as I came to call it) turned the corner and there he was, with a grin from ear to ear, happy as a fly on…all the while, my mom is telling me through her pasted on smile and gritted teeth, “just smile.”
We lived on top of a hill and you could see it from across the river…it glowed. I hated that car. Many of my guy friends liked it, until I asked them to buy it from me, so I could just buy a bug. Hmmph.
So, after awhile (hmmm…possibly a year, tops), I risked the wrath of my father and told him it cost me too much in gas (this in a town small enough to have exactly one stoplight and when gas was probably under $1/gallon.) He saw through it, I’m sure, and I really didn’t care.
Soon afterward I got my Bug (1965…yeah!), dropped it, painted it Porsche Red and loved the hell out of it. I should have never sold it, but I did and heard it got totalled by some kid. Sigh.
So as my daughter had nothing but joy and great moments for her first car, I was re-living the cringe-factor moments of mine. I’m so glad I was the one that had the not-so-fun time; I want my kids’ memories to be as much about positive things as possible.
First cars can mean a lot, especially for a girl…it can become part of their identity; and no girl wants to be known as a 1971 Roadrunner.
I was looking at some old pictures (well, not that old) from my childhood and it got me thinking about all the things that we had so much fun doing when we were kids, and how lucky we were to have the freedom we did. My kids didn’t have that same freedom; were we ignorantly lucky or has the world changed that much?
- Walking a wagonload of bottles to Market Basket to turn in, then taking the money to 7-Eleven and buy candy & Slurpees (cherry & cola mixed)
- Playing one continuous Monopoly game with our friend Veronica – all summer long
- Riding bikes all over Rowland Heights without the security of a cell phone
- Putting on “plays” for the neighborhood and charging candy or cookies
- Having Easter egg hunts with the neighborhood kids and the winner got….everyone’s old Halloween candy!!!
- Going to the mall – on a bus – from Chino to Montclair
- Field trips with Mrs. Fujioka’s class to the tide pools every year
- Walking to school (miles, not a couple blocks) or riding bikes
- Riding our bikes around the school on weekends; now they’re all gated, at least here
- Singing in Mrs. Fujioka’s class – cool songs (at the time) like Theme from Mahogany, Mandy, Memories, etc.
- Riding our bikes miles on Saturday mornings to the little Mexican restaurant to get my parents breakfast to go – and being a little scared of the hill that I had to come back down on the way home
I have relatives that live in Missouri, who are routinely on tornado watch. This, to me, is crazy. When I’m looking for a place to live, you can bet that I’d ask about tornado paths and request to see weather data for the past 5 years, if there were the smallest, most remote chance I’d have to learn about tornado rules of conduct.
Pretty much the rest of the country, however, thinks Californians are crazy for staying here, since we get earthquakes. And fires. Oh, and the mudslides, too. But mostly the earthquakes. I was born & raised here; you get to know when to expect them (oddly hot weather is one indicator). To me, unless it’s the rare BIG earthquake, they are no big deal.
I think of it this way: we get an earthquake that we can actually feel maybe once every 2 or 3 years. They get multiple tornadoes EVERY year, without fail. I’m not good at numbers, but I think we are much less likely to have the earth move than they are to have their house blown away.
I’m just sayin…..
Today is the first day of Haylee’s college career…it is also the first day of Brittany’s third year at college. Although they will tell you different, I’m NOT old enough to have two children in college; I’m only 43. I mean 33, yeah, that’s it.
When I was 20, my mom was 40. I thought she was so old. I stand corrected. We were ruthless in our quest to show her just how old she was. Living in a small town at the time, we were able to have complete access to her desk – at the County Assessor’s office/DMV office. Boy, did we have a field day. We put black flowers (fake, obviously) on her desk, swapped out her chair for a wheelchair, and gave her lots of presents: denture cream, old people vitamins, etc. Everything necessary to declare publicly that she was OLD.
Today, 40 is the new 30, so I’m just a bit older than I was then. I try in vain to explain this to my offspring but they will have none of it. I don’t know what’s wrong with them, but I do know they are NOT allowed to come to my work on my birthday. Ever.
So as the new chapter in my life starts – the one where I lose the last bit of any type of control or say in either of their lives – I realize this is what my goal was all along. Raise my girls to be smart, confident, self-reliant, nice kids (oops, adults). I have definitely succeeded and they are so much more than that.
I’m looking forward to a slight shift in our relationship, as I had with my mom. When they realize a couple things: 1) I’m not that old 2) I actually do know what I’m talking about 99.9% of the time and 3) I’m not the nerd they think I am, I’m just having fun and don’t worry so much anymore what people think…the freedom of age, wisdom & self-confidence.
